Blog #1

Cutlass Supreme:

Well, let's do some blogging. There's one guy in this troupe who's much meatier than the rest. Speaking of meaty! I had the best and most meaty chicken burrito from Q-Doba today. The owner of the ironically named “Goodbar” scolded me for bringing that delicious tortilla wrapped sandwich of “pollo” up into his establishment but still it was tasty.

Whoa! Somebody in this “comedy” group just dropped an F Bomb! and my ears are scorching. Next a sexual allusion gag between a guy and a girl. The guy reminds me of what Andy Dick should've been when he was 14. The girl, a superbly flirtatious Southerner, I assume. Now they're talking more about dessert foods. Hey, if it's not QDOBA it's probably not delicious and definitely not funny. These people are humorous though, don't get me wrong. The one guy reminds me of the girl I lost my virginity to. She was a 31 year old, so, I suppose the term “woman” is much more apt.

Jesus! These people are trying to make God funny. Meanwhile, the waitstaff is busting through this performance guns a'blazin' with orders of what? “Hot Wings” “Hey Fatty, there's plenty more high fructose corn-syrup in that “Hot and Tangy” sauce to go around, so why not save your mantits some stress and share the wings. That really didn't make sense. Sorry. I'll try harder next time I try to make a joke.

Now we're talking! These guys are making fun of retards or drunks, both of which I find to be comic gold! Yep! They've got a retard who's drunk. Perfect! Fuck, what happened? No more drunk retard? Food critics? That's not funny. Well, not as funny as a drunk retard.

The lights dimmed for a second, I assume because of some drunken reprobate slipping or falling into the power breakers in the basement. Okay, I zoned out for the last skit but now they've got some funny porn/elementary bake school jazz going and I always roll with that. Well played, Cutlass Supreme, well played.
Now they're discussing the Nazis and gold. Not funny. Only good thing to come from the Holocaust-Dead Jew jokes. Fact of Science. Well, maybe some Nazi gold jokes about the American government being broke without it are funny.

The lights come down and the music starts and the show rolls on.

Nate Fernald

Nate recently netflixed Dragon Wars *to be noted at this point I, the blogger, interrupted Nate to find out how spell his last name. He was very polite about the whole matter. Nate, I'm sorry I interrupted. Nate just sold the rights to “Anne Frank: The Blog” also he's apparently got terrible taste in movies.

Oh! I should note there's a free bottle of champagne (though methinks it's technically a “sparkling white.”)

Meanwhile, Nate just made an “Internet” joke about myspace while talking about pizza. Awesome! Also, myspace? not facebook? Dude, you're game is sooo 2005.Wait, he just dropped a mad pedophillia zinger. Good work.
What? Discussing gentrification? gangs? white people? I guess it all makes sense if not funny. Ties in the bad movie joke with a Saw reference, good work. Nate's getting down with chocolate and chicks but also arguing against date rape which, of course, leaves me conflicted! Yet stil manages to tie it together with a marriage and sex joke. Kudos, sir.


Champagne Winners are...
Bangin'. Straight Bangin'!

Alright the lucky two Hardy Boys for tonight were Jamie and Kenny and they are chuggin' the champagne (sparkling white wine) straight from the bottle. Sirs, I salute you both. You're Cornhole skills are the stuff of legend.

Dr. Bearhugg:
Now we're making fun of airplanes? I thought that happened in a movie called, “Airplane” but these guys are doing what they have to. Also, they are pretty fucking funny. Jack off? I haven't heard masturbation referred to as that in a long time. *Note to self reintroduce the term “Jack Off” into my parlance. Also, dropping a Kathy Ireland reference, nice work. Remember that amazing bathing suit she wore on the 1990 SI cover? Heck! Some things were more rad pre-Internet, but not blogging, no sirree. Blogging is much cooler now that the World Wide Web has opened things up.

These guys-not sure what they're talking about- BUT they did just drop a hilarious Christmas Eve joke. Also at same time they're talking about weather and ass-kicking and cripples.

The Bryan Room:

Alright, The Bryan Room are doing their thing. Meanwhile, I'll be checking out for the next 7-9 minutes for no real reason. Also, did I mention that Golden State vs Dallas is on right now and I'm missing it because of this damn live-blogging crap. I won't want to but I may have to boycott the first round of the NBA playoffs if Golden State doesn't make the playoffs. Seriously, Sean is in rare form tonight! “Spinal Tap of Aisan!” that's the standout line thus far. I've got some standout boogers right now, that's one of the few bonuses of getting over a cold, along with regaining sense of taste and/or smell. But radical boogers way up there. Back to checking out and wondering what's happening in G-State vs Dallas. Meanwhile back at the ranch, Sean was doing some mime bowling for a moment and I'm really wondering about that Q-Doba burrito. Oh and the waitstaff are once again interrupting the tables of audience members.

Jamie knows how to party. That's right ladies and he's single!
Champagne update: Kenny, he of the funny thing about Kenny is he can't drink from a bottle, is that he can't drink from a bottle. Jamie and I are over here having an amazing time taking pulls from the bottle of J. Roget (American) “Champagne” (Sparkling White) and Kenny (“Mr Frenchman Dr. Bearhugg”) is too good for us.

“The thing about cops is they're nobody left to police us.” “The thing about criminals is you've got other criminals doing criminals.”

Cowboy Don:

These guys are funny. Mostly they're loud and shout too much, but they're funny as well. We shall see. Another airplane reference. This time we're delayed at an airport. St Lous is the destination to a long-distance gal pal. Rest of SL getting to sleep alright tonight. Cowboy Don, far quieter than usual tonight and maintaining this entire airport gag. Typically they're stuck on a train and shouting at one another or (imaginarY0 fellow passengers. Tonight, they've gone with two strangers at an airport terminal but both are from the Pacific Northwest. Stillborn babies and Oregon Trail just came up. I'm as surprised as you are folks. Stamp collecting? “easy denise”